Gryffindors and Slytherins
by ActualWeeb
Summary: Jasmina is upset with the headmaster about Gryffindor winning the house cup and confronts him. Oneshot. Rated T for lots of language.


_**An: So this is just a little one-shot I wrote in a universe where me and my friends are at Hogwarts. Jasmina is my friend, and I'm Helena. I might write more one-shots from this universe, but that, my dear children, is self-insertion, and is in fact frowned upon in many fandoms.**_

 _ **I'm just REALLY pissed about the ending of Philosopher's Stone, so Jazzy's here to fucking slaaaayyyy**_

 _ **I don't own Harry Potter.**_

* * *

Jasmina was Pissed. Pissed with a capital-fucking-p. While, yes, she was glad that her house won the house cup, any euphoria was shattered when she looked across the hall at her friends' falling face.

Who the hell did Dumbledore think he was?

Jasmina was about to find out.

"Professor McGonnagal?" Jasmina asked stiffly. The deputy headmistress turned around.

"Yes, Miss Kokalj?"

"I wish to speak to the headmaster," she said with determination in her eyes. McGonnagal frowned.

"The headmaster is very busy, Miss Kokalj. Why would you need to speak to him directly? I can give him a message, if you like."

"I want to discuss the house cup," Jasmina frowned. "And how he's been treating Slytherin."

The head of Gryffindor looked shocked. Why would a lion care about the snakes? Feeling a bit curious, she allowed the third year to speak to Headmaster Dumbledore.

"Ah, Miss...Kokalj, I believe?" Professor Dumbledore smiled when the student entered his office. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I wish to discuss Slytherin house, sir," she stated simply. Dumbledore frowned.

"Miss Kokalj, I do not plan on ridding of Slytherin any time soon," he said.

"No, Professor, that's not what I meant," Jasmina snapped, beginning to loose her patience. "I feel that you've been quite unfair to the Slytherins."

"Whatever do you mean, Miss Kokalj?"

"Well, Slytherin won the house cup fair and square. Even if you wanted to award those points, you didn't have to do it in the Great Hall, and you especially didn't have to make the Slytherins get excited and believe that they've won. You set that up to humiliate them. There was no other purpose for that than to make them look like assholes."

"Miss Kokalj, that's some very strong language."

"And that's some very strong emotional damage on Slytherin's part," Jasmina snapped back. "My friend, Helena, is probably crying for all I know-"

"Your friend?" Dumbledore interrupted. "I was under the impression that you two were enemies."

"No?" Jasmina blinked. "We've been best friends since childhood."

"You always seem quite rude to each other."

"That's what friends do, sir," Jazzy replied. "One minute they're insulting each other, and the next they're borderline homosexual." Dumbledore chuckled, which annoyed Jasmina. He can't chuckle, he just fucked Slytherin in the ass! Jasmina frowned.

"Slytherin has a dark reputation which is placed on the shoulders of innocent children and you're not helping," she continued. "I hope you're happy that there will be first and second years going home crying because of you."

And with that, she stormed out, not even waiting for the headmaster's response.

"Parceltongue," Jasmina said to the Slytherin portrait, which opened, despite her house. You see, though they were from different houses, Jasmina always was up-to-date on the Slytherin password, as was Helena for Gryffindor. At first the portraits had tried to stop them, but they'd eventually given in.

"Hey, fuckstain," Jasmina said, walking up to her friend's four-poster bed.

"Fuck off, oilshit," came the reply from the Slytherin who was currently hiding under a pile of blankets.

"Are you crying?" Jazzy blinked, noticing the girl's tear tracks.

"Nah, allergies." Jasmina sat next to Helena, feeling quite awkward. "You know, you don't have to lie about crying."

"No, I actually DO have allergies," Helena glared at the lion. "It's June and I react horribly to pollens. You fucking know this, Jazzy." Jazzy rolled her eyes.

"Fuck you, too. I'm trying to be a good friend here."

"The closest you could come to doing that is by jumping off a cliff," Helena retorted. She paused. "Or giving me chocolate, that works, too."

"I'd prefer the cliff," Jazzy replied. "Doing anything nice for you is a nightmare." This sort of speech was a common thing among the two- it was like two sarcastic tsundere twats trying to be friends. The two sat in silence before Helena spoke.

"You know, fuck Potter."

"I might take you up on that advice," Jasmina grinned.

"You know, fuck you," the Slytherin hissed.

"It's not his fault, you know," the third year said softly. "Rumor has it he went through a traumatic experience and fought Professor Quirrel to save the school."

"Wait, Squirrel?" Helena blinked, sitting up in surprise. "Was he a Death Eater or something?"

"Yeah," Jasmina nodded.

"Called it," Helena muttered. "His turban was hella creepy."

"Seconded," Jasmina agreed. "I hope they burned the thing."

"If not, we can substitute the turban for your face," Helena grinned. Jazzy smiled and punched her lightly.

"Fuck you, too, Lele."

* * *

 _ **well that happened**_


End file.
